


Maybe the Real Favor Is the Friends We Made Out With Along the Way

by Fallynleaf



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: First Kiss, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mentions of Grif's Trans First Girlfriend, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 11:43:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6609448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallynleaf/pseuds/Fallynleaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tex calls in a favor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe the Real Favor Is the Friends We Made Out With Along the Way

**Author's Note:**

> I rewatched all of Red vs. Blue recently, and I realized that Tex never calls in the favor that Grif and Simmons owe her in season three.
> 
> Like most of my RvB fics, this one mostly fits into the canon as long as you stretch out some of the events in the show. In this fic, the Reds head back to Blood Gulch later after the Blues have gotten to know Andy a bit better.

"Alright, I'm calling in the favor that you owe me," Tex said, walking over to Grif and Simmons. Judging by the terse edge to her voice, something had her wound up. Grif and Simmons exchanged a look. Neither of them liked the idea of dealing with a pissed off Tex.

"What do you want?" Simmons asked nervously.

"I want the two of you to make out," Tex said.

Simmons made a strangled sound of protest, and Grif said: "What? I thought we agreed on no gay stuff!"

Tex snorted. "I never agreed to that," she said. "And for the record, if you're making a deal with someone, don't reveal your entire hand. When you said 'no gay stuff,' what else did you expect me to ask for?"

"I don't know, something less gross!" Grif said. "Like let's say you just happened to have a full box of Oreos and a bottle of hot sauce you needed to get rid of—"

"Aren't you supposed to use a favor to get someone to do something for you?" Simmons asked. "Like, get up and sharpen a pencil for you, or take notes for you in class, or—"

"You guys are going to make out for me," Tex interrupted. "That's it. That's the deal. No take-backs, no haggling, just what I'm asking for, straight up."

"Except you want it to be gay up," Grif said miserably.

"Yes. Now take off your armor and do what I asked you to," Tex said, her voice short.

"Fine!"

Grif turned away from her to face Simmons. For half a minute, they just stood there and stared at each other dumbly. Then Grif reached up and removed his helmet. He dropped it with a solid thud onto the dirt.

Simmons mirrored Grif's actions, except a little slower. He nervously avoided Grif's eyes through most of it, casting his gaze askance as they both stripped away their armor.

Then they both stood there dressed only in loose underclothes, and they instantly felt even less confident. Grif watched Simmons swallow, the movement traveling in his throat. His _very-much-a-dude's_ throat. Grif's eyes wandered a bit, and his gaze caught on the shiny metal that blended into Simmons' skin.

"Grif, stop staring," Simmons said. "It's making me nervous."

"Does it feel weird?" Grif blurted out.

"What?"

"The fact that your face is made of metal," Grif said.

"Well, _your_ face is made of—" Simmons launched into the comeback on autopilot, then faltered as soon as he realized what he was saying. "—Um, _me_." He finished.

"Yeah..." Grif trailed off.

Grif reached up and lightly tapped on Simmons' metal cheek. Simmons' eyelids fluttered, but he didn't say anything.

"Never kissed a guy before," Simmons said.

"You've never kissed a _girl_ before, either," Grif said.

"And _you_ have?" Simmons countered.

"Yes! I'm not a nerd, Simmons. I've had a girlfriend."

"The one that had a dick?" Simmons asked.

"Yep. She was the only person who ever really liked me," Grif said wistfully.

"Then why is she an ex?" Simmons asked, his voice flat. "Did she finally get smart and realize that you're a lazy asshole with literally zero redeeming qualities?"

Grif sighed. "Yeah, pretty much," he said. "After I found out that she had a dick, I didn't want to sleep with her because I was afraid it would be gay."

"You didn't want to sleep with your girlfriend because you were afraid it would be gay," Tex repeated.

They both whirled around to look at her, and Simmons made a noise that sounded like _eep_. "I forgot she was there!" he said.

"Yeah, I was a transphobic asshole, and my girlfriend broke up with me because of it. Are you happy now, Tex?" Grif yelled.

After that, he pointedly turned away from her. "Now, where were we?" he asked. Simmons stared at him incredulously, and Grif said: "Oh, right."

Back to square one. The _gay_ square one.

They stared at each other, and neither one of them moved. Grif sighed again. Then he pulled off his undershirt and dropped it onto the pile of armor.

Simmons squeaked. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Preparing to make out with you!" Grif said.

"Okay, okay, but a few ground rules first," Simmons said. "One: pants stay on. Two: no groping."

"It's always rules with you, Simmons," Grif said, shaking his head. "I know they're a turn on for you, but please try to keep it in your pants."

"What, do you disagree with them?" Simmons asked.

"No, but that's not the point. I'm afraid I have to object on principle of them being rules."

Simmons let out a frustrated sigh. He removed his shirt, started to throw it at the ground, then retracted his arm and folded it nicely before stacking it on top of his armor. Grif had never seen someone fold a shirt with more anger.

Grif took a step towards Simmons, and Simmons flinched. Grif took another step, and Simmons flinched again.

Then Grif reached out and touched the metal part of Simmons' face a second time, running his finger down the warm, hard material, the part of Simmons that connected them whether they wanted it too or not. Simmons didn't flinch, this time.

It was easier to touch Simmons if Grif avoided actually touching his skin.

Simmons' hand came up, and he traced the line of stitching on Grif's chest. Grif's flesh was a patchwork of skin tones, and it was weird to see parts of Simmons there. The touch sent a little shiver through Grif.

"Huh," Grif said. He didn't elaborate, but Simmons echoed the sentiment.

Then Grif curled his hand around Simmons' cheek, and he leaned forward and awkwardly bumped his lips against Simmons'.

After a couple seconds delay, Simmons finally got with the program and kissed him back.

It wasn't a good kiss. Simmons was needy and insistent, and Grif kind of just kissed lazily and let Simmons do most of the work. But then Simmons backed down a little, and Grif started to pick up the slack and make up for Simmons' inexperience, and eventually, it evened out into being sort of okay.

They kept going, because the longer they kissed, the better it got.

Eventually, they both had to take a break. So they parted for a couple breaths, staring at each other in surprised wonderment. Then Grif remembered that Tex was watching, so he glanced over at her a little self-consciously, only to find that she wasn't there.

"Hey, where'd Tex go?" Grif asked.

"What?" Simmons asked, sounding a little dazed. He followed Grif's gaze. "Okay, that's not fair," he said. "You think she's going to make us do it again?"

"Eh, maybe," Grif said. He thought for a moment. "But if we owe her another favor, you think she'll make us fuck?"

"We could try," Simmons said. "What should we hire her to do?"

They spent the next twenty minutes arguing about what they could hire Tex for, until Sarge showed up and yelled at them for wasting time that they could've spent spying on the Blues.

 

* * *

 

"Hey! Andy," Tex called out, walking into the room.

"Hey, it's my man Tex! Hope you loosened up your jock strap a little since our last talk. But maybe you just like sticking it in tight places," Andy said, breaking into laughter.

"Y'know, I came here to tell you that I just called in a favor to force two men to make out so that I could watch, but then you know what? A moron taught me a lesson," Tex said.

"Was it before or after you came?" Andy said, laughing again.

Tex ignored him. "Some women have dicks. Hell, some women _are_ dicks. And you know what? I'm the second kind." She cracked her knuckles.

Andy stopped laughing.


End file.
